Those eyes..those eyes

Marilyn Monroe got to be the 20th centery's Mona Lisa. Her expressions' so secrative and her eyes looks like an old womans'. This is one of my favourite pictures with her. No extravagant makeup or ''hiding'' glamour, just a Marilyn. Such a tradegy, proof that once again money and fame can get you anywhere, but no stability, love or happiness.



Also, George Barris pictures of Marilyn on the beach, in her late career.

The times they are achanging!

and so are my feelings, my decisions, the things I want, my - everything

I'm not sure what I want for the autumn anymore. Am I ready for some serious studies or should I just enjoy my freedom and party away?

At the same time I'm ready to grow up and take responsibility. Have my own place and settle down.... I am actually only 19 and got plenty of time to relax in between the studies. Right?!

Magnetized - Laura Veirs

'S been a crazy weekend. I'm so sensitive when I don't get the proper hours of sleep that I need. Everything is chaos.

Went to Kesleys ''squat'' friday night. When I came there they were jamming, just the a couple of guys. My first ''jam-session'' ever, with some blues, some Jimi Hendrix and Kesleys and Prims wonderful improvisation(!). Due to lack of musical talent I decided to take on the role as tambourine-man...girl..woman? Anywho, without noticing I think we sat in there for like 3 hours, people coming and going. Felt like 1 hour but someone told I've been sitting there for hours. Got compliments for my exquisid ear for rythm..:D

Since the house is massive with hidden rooms everywhere you meet new people all the time! I love it! And all of a sudden the sun was rising and time was about 6-7(?). Got a couple of hours sleep before I went to Kensington High Street to meet up with ''the Rebeccas'(my new name for Rebecca and Rebecka) and Mia. Finally bought the black blazer from uniqlo I've been wanting to buy for ages and finally had the money for it, plus the blouse from the garden collection at HM. All the fabric is made out of recycled material. Cool!

After going on the streets, while raining cats and dogs- It was literally pouring down on us- we went home to Rebecca who's got the house empty for another 2 weeks(her family is abroad) to freshen up, Later I went in to Leicester Square for a couple of drinks. I was so tired and could barely walk so decided to go home early. Got to bed at one and slept all night(!) - bed sweet bed!

Tuned in on my old playlists at youtube with fleet foxes, the shins and laura veirs. A cup of tea and feeling like middleage(dehydration plus lack of sleep=grrrrreat)

Thinking

I've got a whole lot o' time thinking while nannying. Not the best thing for a person that always analyze stuff to shreds..

But at least I know now what my view of life/religion/etc is. I don't now why but I just want to be able to answer when people ask me, instead of saying ''not atheist, but kind of''. I DO believe there's a God, like there's a mickey mouse - something we have created. But I don't believe in the bible etc. The 10 commandments - it's just common sense and they exist in every religion - ''don't kill, don't steal, don't cheat...''. So if someone asks I think the view closest to my thoughts are existentialism as told by Sartre. I'm too realistic to do or even want to believe in a God. Although my grandfather is constantly telling me '' I also left church when I was 20, you'll find your way back''. Like not eating meat is also something I grow out of... Acceptance, acceptance my friend!

And I constantly think about going back to Paris. I miss that city so much. Sitting in Luxembourg gardens, going to the west bank for italian icecream. It's the one place I always feel I need to go back to. That, and Malmo!!! My little Paris in Sweden.

I feel constantly tired. I sleep like 8 h a night. But still I cant seem to get enough rest. Lack of iron?.....I feel enervated. Maybe not the best if you take care of children...

Anywho, better luck tomorrow!
xoxo

Yeasayer - 2080

I think I 've got a fever and a cold but I'm trying to ignore it. I only ''live'' in the weekends and HAVE to go out then. It's like once you've got into the party-mode you have to party EVERY weekend vice versa, like if you never go out it's like ''I prefer some wine and a dinner''.... But that feeling can easily be awakened by a night out!

I feel ever so effective about this weekend. Friday night I went to Baker Street for a drink, later pub/club in Camden( big dissappointment! 1. swedes all over 2. they played grease(!!!!!!!)).

Anywho I knew that Kesley were having a houseparty in Stoke Newington. So around 1 I went to his place.

Felt weird to go around in the streets where I used to live. Although its my favourite neighbourhood in London. The best people live in the north. Where nobody's english, but Jamaican, Irish, African, jewish, polish etc.

Kesley werent really there when I came. But the house was full of people to talk to so that was okey. I just love Kesleys room. Indian carpets, art on the walls, nice music etc. And always a bunch of crazy people. Finally the man we'd been waiting for came home around 7 and the party went on. I don't know if I'm weak but I actually get tired around 4-5 so I just totally crashed in his tent-installation. Waked up and fell asleep for hours hearing Yeasayer on repeat until 10 o clock when I waked up from someone throwing themselves at the tent. So Yeasayer, for me, now equals half-asleep-mode and Kesley! Haha!

At ten the party was still going strong, but I decided to meet up Linn for some coffee in Notting Hill and had a look at Portobello Market(nothing special really, just a lot of danish people). But we went to a cafe with beautiful bread and wonderful coffee!! Me likey! Linn is leaving on thursday. But I wont be leaving much later, so! I'll see her in Hassleholm or maybe Halmstad:)

Went with Rebecca 1 and Rebecca 2 to Kensington later on for some lunch - I'm obsessed with their quiche at this french cafe. Rebecca's got her house for herself the next 2 weeks = party!!!

I decided, cause of my fever, to rest saturday evening. And was my night saved when I saw they had a Dicaprio special on tv?!!!! Dicaprio is a clear favourite. I dont know if I can say Titanic is a favourite, but I have probably seen it 5 times and still love it. The end is a bit dull, but thats ok. All in all it's great! Dicaprio in a movie is like a proof the movie is ''watchable'. Same with Johnny Depp, Susan Sarandon, Dustin Hoffman, Heath Ledger and some more I've probably forgot!

I must say I like to wake up early. On Sunday I had time for the gym before I went with Rossy to see Fulham versus Manchester City. The game was allright, but it felt like the game never really started, and Man. City totally outplayed Fulham as well. But the sun was shining all through the game. Omg, I almost get sad of joy when thinking about spending time in Malmo, Hassleholm, Osterlen and meet all my wonderful friends and family and just enjoy the summer in parks, houses, beaches with picnics and dinners<3.

xoxo Elna

Analyze this

One of my biggest hobbies - analyze people.

Trying, while young and while in London, to analyze the youth in London.

*For once. Why do they kiss once on the cheek and not two? Is there any other country that doesn't do twice except the UK? Everyone I've met been kissing me on the cheek, even strangers. Didn't see that in Italy and France. What do you say Boel?

*Their texting and abbreviation is so irritating. Can't read a text without a klkl, b4, l8r, m8s, atm, bk. And they write LOL all the time.

This doesn't really go to my analyse. But, should I be offended if someone asks me if I'm married.
1. They think I'm really old
2. I'm really popular on the meat-market, they feel they need to hurry.
3. Everyone gets married really young out here?!

It smells like summer today, it's two weeks to summertime, it's St Patricks day and I have bread-cravings. Damn you England and your bagels but thanks for your early spring!!!!!!

London

A good weekend again!

Going out w Amy friday, went out a bit early but people are always happy to dance at revolution. And Sambucca I've noticed, NOT a good mix with Elna and Sambucca..... And somehow I met a guy with a swedish mum(Agneta - can it get more swedish?), what are the odds in Sutton...

Met Felix saturday night. Went to camden for some beer. (Worst thing about english pubs> Theres never a place to sit!). Went home to his friend and slept on a mattress sunday night. I finally slept for more than 8 hours!!!! altough neck quite soar...Somehow we got to talk about all the negative stuff about England, like the costs of childcare, the bread, the cheese, the heating and their unability to take care of snow, haha. All I like about London is the people. I will miss London when I get home cause there's always something to do and somewhere to go...

cheeky monkey

Since Skype never works and mum won\t ever understand the technique of today I decided to use the family's phone to call!

Metta answered the phone and I couldn't believe we haven't spoken for months... Miss her so much. ''I miss u too, you know, I haven't got any siiblings living at home anymore'' she told me. She's so cute. And grown up! And she's got this polite way of speaking.

She told me about a boy she liked, but he didn't like her back, but he would let her like him anyway. That's so generous(!). Also she told me she's danced with boys. I feel like an old lady who treats the 10 y old like a 5 y old. I don't have a clue what age you do what anymore. I'm trying to think of what I did that age. And it is true, you went to discos etc.

But I was careful anyway trying to find out what kind of dance she danced.
- ''Do you dance around or hold hands?''
- ''It's called tryckare, hihi''
Oh, my little sisters is growing up. I need to come home and teach her all about life;) She doesn't have two older sisters like I did at home teaching me, I guess.

I really look forward to the weekend. Going out w Amy tonight to the place I went to once before. Saturday finally going with Rebecca to see the exhibition with Irving Penn at National Portrait Gallery(on of two favourites) and later on meet Felix at the club his friend is hosting, something with folk and indie - sounds good. And sunday, when I'll be feeling fantastic(!) there's a St Patrick's day-parade at Trafalgar Square. Everybody dress up...in green!

xoxo

I see life in light

Woha! The day kind of started of perfect with Point of view by DB Boulevard. When I look at the lyrics it's kind of exactly my situation right now. Ironical?

My brother is coming this weekend, Boel is booking tickets for April and spring is finally back(knocks on wood). I feel fulfilled by the spring and summer to come. It doesn't matter where I am, I just feel lucky when spring comes!

Did I mention I found two pair of shoes as well, while in Sutton today. Went for some shopping since I have the day off. AND a dress. I love to dress for spring. Trying to stick to my philosphy: dress for the weather you want. It's kind of hard right now, but I'm trying. Quite satisfied with my shoe wardrobe so far: brown, black, cerise, blue and red! More to come!

xxxx

The weekend

The weekend's been speeding away. Monday tuesday you just want the weekend to come, and then it's over. It all goes too fast, but that's what happens when you're having fun I guess!

Viktor gave me Wuthering Heights the last time he was here. Hated the first 100 pages, couldn't seem to work out what character was who etc.. Then finally putting through 100pages I got my reward - I figured everyone out and could start enjoyed the forthcoming 300 pages. Finished the book last night, and I must say it was actually quite good. A little bit confusing and hard when the character Joseph talked in a northern dialect with ay's and nay's and shoos instead of she's and knaw instead of know....

Spent the weekend in Kensington, Hyde Park, Brick Lane, Primrose Hill, Notting Hill, Camden, ChinaTown, Leicester Square.

Saw a demonstration in Brick Lane aka Banglatown (w all the indian restaurants -although I enjoyed a halloumi/aubergine-burger with homemade wedgers!). The train was full of muslims trying to tell us Mohammed equals peace. With which I can only agree. Islam has only been associated with terrorism for the last 20-30 years. Christians are really the most tyrannic religion there is. Not accepting other religions and forcing people to take christianity as their religion( see Africa, America, India , where to stop?)

Sunday morning I went to Primrose Hill w Clara. I think the cold's come back to London... It depends if the wind is blowing, and it DID this sunday.... Bought breakfast at tesco and went further north up the hill with an amazing view of London. But I must say I didn't really like Primrose Hill because of all the dogs...Hate when owners just let their dogs loose. And both Clara and me had cotton shoes so we went to Camden to warm up with a cup o' tea!

Later we went to see ''The imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus''. I guess that Terry Gilliam can't ever make you dissapointed. He's got a crazy imagination! And like always Heath Ledger was great! And I was actually surprised by Colin Farrel. Never seen him in anything else so I thought he was rubbish, but he was actually good! But the outstanding actor was not Jude Law, Johnny Depp or Heath Ledger but Andrew Garfield!
Note: Peter Stomare plays a part as a president!!

This week I'll be free from 9-15 since the boys are in Dublin with their dad the whole week.
Plus next weekend I'm going to see my first ever football game in London: Fulham vs. Manchester City.

xx

Music

Planning to go to Camden Crawl in may, who's with me?! With bands like Sunshine underground, Casiokids and other upcoming bands. Finding new interesting sounds on their lineup, like ''best coast'' - the new camera obscura?! Can't but like the voice and the video - preppy boys 2000 meet 80's boots, sailors and girls from the 50's!

IKEA!!!!

IKEA saved my day. My delicatess: knäckebröd with hard-boiled eggs! Also I bought finax ryebread("ready to shake"-kind). But it's better than nothing! I've missed a bread with no added sugar and some real rye! Last but not least DAIM!

Last night I had my first bite of the knäckebröd with only butter and cucumber, mmmm! I could probably survive out of porridge, knäckebröd and muesli with milk for ages! I don't know if it's Sweden or my family who's healthy? I just compare this family and everybody else in England with how I grew up. At least in my family we got porridge or A-fil(why is sweden the only country with fil??) not bagels and toast with jam.

Sweden has got a full range of natural youghurt while in England/France/Germany the majority is fruit youghurt filled with sugar and just SOMETIMES they offer natural youghurt(if not sweet vanilla youghurt...).

The weather is still going strong. No rain so far, although some dark clowds. But usually the sun comes out in the afternoon! I'm hoping for some sun tomorrow so me and the boys can go to Wimbledon Park!

note to self: Don't take everything personal. Like a 9year old screaming at you:(

Habits

My main interests in London:

* chocolate-boutiques(same as in Sweden then..)
* vintage
* cafes
* royal parks
* food-markets

Went to selfridges this saturday and came to the chocolate-section. I were in heaven! I don't care about clothes, perfumes etc. All I want is loads of tins and boxes of chocolate. Obsession? Ehhh..yes!

I have an obsession about nice tins with candy/toffee's/coffee/tea, teacups, coffemugs, beautiful pralins, cosy cafes... I can stand and look at beautiful patisseries and pralines for hours.. Oh yeah, preferably in style a la English Kitch or parisian luxury.

Went to Putney as well, to see Josefine. Went into a vintage-boutique, but not with only clothes. Inside the shop were a cafe with homemade chocolate- and carrot cakes, playing jazz. Could be a clear favourite in time!

Really like to live in the outside of London. Get to see all the small towns like Putney, Wimbledon and Sutton -where the real englishmen lives. While in London the majority consists of Indians, Swedish-, African people and so on.

xoxo
The sun is shining every day. Happy happy happy times!!